14: Setting up for success

This section of the guide contains a variety of tips and tricks that will be useful for: teaching your partner how to expect trance in a productive way, “troubleshooting” (or heading off) things that might get in the way, and just generally some good techniques and practices to make someone more able to experience a fulfilling (and safer) trance.

“Checking”

It’s not uncommon for people who are new to being hypnotized to feel that sometimes, their head is getting in the way. Some people say they feel like they’re overthinking or analyzing, or that they’re having a hard time feeling like they’re in trance. There are a ton of techniques to handle situations like this, but one of the most effective is understanding something about the hypnotic experience as a whole and “using it against them!”

Almost everyone, when they’re being hypnotized, is doing a sort of little “check” inside their head. They’re asking themselves, “Am I hypnotized yet? What about now?” This is totally normal and expected! But it can feel like it’s getting in the way, especially when they feel like they aren’t finding things to make the answer to those questions “yes.”

Because we know this happens, we can twist it to be more useful to us! Here are some examples of things we can say:

“When you wonder to yourself if you’re hypnotized, you can find that there are little sensations of trance that you maybe didn’t notice before”

“When you wonder if you’re hypnotized, you can hear a little voice echoing in your head in a hypnotized voice, saying ‘yes’”

“You might find part of your mind asking if you’re hypnotized, but as you listen to me you can feel that part of you sinking deep into trance, too”

“There are signs of hypnosis that take some time to recognize, so if you find yourself looking inwards and wondering, be curious about what you might find”

This is great reinforcement for most subjects—not just those who express some difficulty trancing. It can make hypnosis feel more fluid and intense!

“You don’t have to do anything”

Something that can be really effective for facilitating an intense hypnotic experience is giving someone the sense that they don’t have to exert effort in order to respond to hypnosis. While hypnosis is a collaborative activity and subjects can really positively affect their experience themselves, it can feel awesome when it feels like they’re not “working” to respond.

This also can help allay insecurities about “getting it right” that some subjects have. You ideally want your partner to be confident that they can respond as naturally as they like! That’s where the real magic tends to happen. Here are some example suggestions you can use:

“You don’t need to put in effort to respond the way you respond to hypnosis”

“You don’t need to do anything particular to go deeper”

“Your mind is going to do things without you even trying”

“You have agency”

We very much want our partners to be able to a) express if they feel uncomfortable, b) “reject” or not follow suggestions they don't want to (including going into trance), and c) trust that they have the capacity to do these things.

People retain awareness in trance—plus agency over what happens to them—but expressing and acting on that agency is a skill! You can think of it in the same way it might be uncomfortable to say “no” to something even when you’re awake. For some, it’s easy, and for others less so.

Saying this in plain language as part of your pretalk—particularly giving someone “permission” (letting them know) that they can express agency in trance can go a long way. But it’s also helpful to reinforce this when your partner is in trance, as well. You can use some of the strategies we talked about for “responsive” trance, particularly to help people express potential discomfort verbally. Here are some more ways you might do this:

“If there’s anything you need to tell me, understand that your brain can make it happen”

“Let yourself know that you can comfortably reject suggestions that you don’t want to follow”

“You can take control of your own experience at any time”

You can also turn someone’s safeword into a trigger—if they feel uncomfortable or there’s something they need to communicate, they can say the word (or do a nonverbal signal). This might be easier for some people than making a full, expressive communication.

Something else you can do is give your partner the space to “practice” rejecting suggestions! This can be especially helpful for new subjects. Agree up front what you’d like to do (such as giving a trance trigger or hypnotic language) with the intent that they don’t follow through on it.

If someone does express to you that there’s something they need to say or they’re uncomfortable, the best practice is to gently take them out of trance and then have the conversation. And remember: taking steps like these doesn’t guarantee that someone will be able to follow through with them in all circumstances—you can’t predict everything. If you don’t know your partner very well or you’re new to doing hypnosis together, it’s still a good idea to check in with them periodically.